


Company

by talonyth



Category: Karneval
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-15
Updated: 2012-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-04 15:25:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1082641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talonyth/pseuds/talonyth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akari is very aware that he isn't well liked but sometimes, seldomly, rarely, barely ever, but sometimes, it does hurt him a little.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Company

It was one of the rare occasions in which the Second Ship had a visitor from the Research Tower. And not just any.

Akari himself decided to drop by for an examination although it was widely known how much he hated coming to the Second Ship. There was a reason for that, a reason that he kept to himself, that he never talked about and that except for him, only one, maybe even two more persons knew.

The common rumour was spread that it was because of Yogi who denied and absolutely rejected being examined. A hard case of phobia. The usually very cheerful Second Ship member detested Akari’s presence and made it very obvious that he couldn’t stand him, whether it was really fear or hatred he felt. Although the doctor didn’t seem to mind this, whenever he would be done examining the resisting Yogi, he would feel twice as tired, twice as down and twice as angry. Usually, it all came down to exhaustion in the end, that made him fall asleep as soon as he felt the slightest comfort, and it didn’t matter whether it was an actual bed, a sofa or even a wooden chair.

It was certainly one of the reasons why a visit to the Second Ship wasn’t his favourite thing to do but it was not the only one, and not the most striking one either.

"Did Yogi give you a hard time again?"

A voice, so calming yet so mocking at the same time, there was a sole person who could talk like that.

"Obviously. He is not very fond of me."

"That’s not really news for you, though."

The doctor stretched and felt his whole body snap. He grimaced and sighed.

"I don’t know why I think that he might have grown up when I see him next time. It is wishful thinking, indeed."

A light, but gleeful chuckle. Akari didn’t turn around. He didn’t want to see Hirato’s face at that moment, nor did he really want to talk to him although it seemed like he couldn’t get out of latter anymore which added to his foul mood.

"You aren’t exactly the epitome of calm, though, Akari. Maybe you should try bribing him with sweets?"

"Please. What is he, 5? You treat him like a child and spoil him, that is why he is such a pain."

Hirato laughed vividly in the background. “Maybe. …Are you jealous that you’re not being spoiled or why do you sound so hurt?”

There was nothing Akari despised more than Hirato’s mischievous tone when he talked to him. It was almost ridiculous that he couldn’t think of how Hirato sounded normally. The doctor had barely ever heard the Second Ship’s Captain talk nicely and honestly to him, it had always been just mockery and scoff.

"I am just saying that this is your fault. It is your responsibility that your fighters are in proper shape. This is barely a state in which a Circus fighter should be, especially considering his position and rank."

"Aren’t you a bit too serious here? Just because he doesn’t like you? Wow, you are really upset about him hating you, aren’t you?"

Akari turned around, his eyes grim but his face in a light pink. He noticed the blush right away, the heat that tickled his cheeks which resulted in him being even more flustered than he wanted to.

"This is a serious problem, though. He can’t go on like this forever. I hope you understand this and try to talk some sense into him. Otherwise, I am afraid, he won’t last long."

"You mean, you won’t last long. It’s straining your nerves to no end that he rejects you, even though he is nice to literally anyone. Poor Akari, why don’t you tell him, I am certain, Yogi would like you more if he knew you just want to be friends with him."

He was ridiculing him. Hirato was very obviously making fun of him and Akari felt anger running through his whole body. Yet he tried to calm down, not to lose his temper, and took a deep breath.

"That is preposterous. I am his doctor, not his… his ‘buddy’" he hissed.

"Maybe you should try being his ‘buddy’, though. Or at least pretend to be. It calms him down. It might calm you down too, looking at how you react…"

The Captain’s smile never ceased. It never disappeared. How much Akari wished for that grin to be wiped off his face once…

"If you don’t have anything else to say, leave."

"So harsh… Akari, I just wanted to keep you company because you always feel so lonely."

The doctor run his fingers through his hair, his face marked with anger and annoyance although tidbits of his former embarrassment still showed on his cheeks, colouring them in a very light pink.

"Haven’t I made myself clear enough? Get. Out."

Hirato shrugged his shoulders and sighed deeply, blatantly pretending to be sad and disappointed when he was not.

"Good, good, Doctor. I will take my leave. Good day, and rest easy."

The Captain bowed deeply and left the room, just like that. Akari wasn’t exactly sure what he had expected. Apparently he had wanted Hirato to stay although he would have never, ever told him. The sudden silence in his room reminded him of Hirato’s words.

It was true that, at times, he felt lonely. Usually, people respected him too much to talk to him casually or they downright hated him, for whatever reason. It wasn’t a surprise when someone told him they couldn’t stand his face. Somehow, so he thought, he was just not very likeable overall. And frankly, he didn’t really want people to like him too much, figuring it would be too much of a hassle to have people around him all the time, to keep appointments, to keep a relationship intact… all that didn’t sound appealing to him.

Yet that was the reason why, just sometimes, he felt a very sudden loneliness that teared him down, that tugged at him for days, sometimes even for weeks. He could forget about that while working although his mood was then much worse than usually but when he was done, it would all come back to him.

The Second Ship reminded him of that. Every time he was there, he felt so incredibly lonely. The main reason was not, as rumours said, Yogi. No, his rejection was a thing Akari was very used to. It pulled his mood down, yes, that was true, but it wasn’t the reason for his loneliness. It might have been another factor, but not a full-fledged reason.

He felt it creeping up to him again, right after Hirato left. That feeling of solitude. It always came when he talked to Hirato. Always.

His insides turned upside down, making him feel sick, his head started hurting in the worst way possible while he tried to suppress that feeling but he couldn’t, really. He couldn’t shake it off. The way Hirato treated him was the reason he hated the Second Ship.

He wished, that for once, Hirato would look at him, would smile at him and talk to him, a proper conversation without any sneering. Just once would be enough.

The doctor sat down, in a chair next to him, it was terribly uncomfortable, he could feel his back snapping once more but he had to rest. For a minute, or maybe for more, he didn’t know how much time he needed to swallow his feelings down and to hope that they would stay there, down, where no one could see nor hear them. No one, not even him.

Yet the silence, the concentration, they all meant nothing. He felt tears burning on his skin as they were running down his cheeks and realized it was much too late for him to even try and keep it down. He sobbed in silence first, hardly audible but he suddenly reached a point where he couldn’t stop, where he had bottled all up just for this moment, just to let it out at once.

It was okay, there wasn’t anyone to hear him anyway, he was alone. Always. There wasn’t anyone. No one.

Dissolved in tears, in hiccups and sobs, in wailing and weeping, he didn’t hear the door opening slowly, didn’t hear the footsteps that approached him quickly, didn’t see the person who entered until he felt an embrace, so tender that he felt his heart breaking, yet so fierce that he barely managed to catch a breath from the surprise that struck him.

"I told you I would keep you company, right?"

His voice sounded so different, reassuring and calm, just as he had wished. How? Why? He couldn’t bring out any words, his mouth didn’t move an inch as opposed to his mind that was twirling and twisting.

The only thing he managed to do was resting his head on Hirato’s shoulder, letting his tears drop, not trying to stop them anymore. He felt like he could let everything out for once, although he had fallen silent again, the few sounds he made only muffled through the pressure against Hirato.

The Captain’s hand brushed through his hair and caressed it gently. It calmed Akari down, it stopped the weird jumps and twists his mind made and turned it blank, it relaxed his whole body until he couldn’t keep awake again. He felt so drained, so exhausted from everything that he simply fell asleep, unable to ask Hirato why he came in, why he was there, why he did all this, unable to feel the light kiss Hirato pressed on his forehead while he pulled him closer to give him some comfort, unable to hear him whisper tender things into his ear to soothe his pain and grant him the sweetest dreams.


End file.
